La Gran Aventura Day 4: Car shopping and My Birthday

Thursday December 14, 2023

OK, so the word on the car is that we need to get a new one. It has some major repairs that need to be done in order to make it drivable, and even then they told us it just wouldn’t be safe for long trips. And we’ve got a ton of driving ahead of us -- too much feel comfortable with driving this old vehicle.

So after going on a run, Betty and I headed out to look at vehicles. We considered a ton of different options, but ultimately we decided to go with another Sequoia. We felt like if we could get one that is in good shape, even if it had some miles on it, we would be able to get a bunch more out of it.

The first one we looked at was right in Orem, and it looked promising: 2013, super clean interior, 180,000 miles on it, and a good price. We took it for a test drive, and it felt great. But we didn’t want to jump at the first one, so we headed up to Salt Lake to look at a couple of others. They were NOT good, so we headed back to the first place to talk.

Betty really loved this first Sequoia that we had seen, but she didn’t want to pull the trigger without having our mechanic look at it. I was also curious about the dealer’s inspection report, but had been told that the dealer might not give it up. So we told the dealer that we wanted to take it to a mechanic, and he said we were welcome to do so, but he also volunteered to give us their inspection report, which was super clean with minimal work -- except that they put a new transmission in it. That’s awesome! Then he had the guy who was the mechanic that did the work on it come and talk to us about it as well. This guy said that he loved the vehicle, and he’d buy it in a second if he could.

We were almost tempted to buy it on the spot, but after talking to Lewis the mechanic again, we decided to give ourselves a night to think about it, and that we would take it to the mechanic in the morning. We don’t want to be pressured into a decision. This is a big one.

So that was a super-fun and relaxing way to spend my birthday day, but thankfully, the night was still free.

For my birthday dinner we went to 7 Brothers in the Riverwoods. They have the most amazing burgers and fries. I didn’t actually get a burger, though. I got a bacon cranberry melt. It was definitely worth the calories. It was so fun to hang out there with Mom and Dad, Annie and Zack, Marybeth and Andy, and Lamon. We haven’t seen them for so long. Siblings are absolutely the best!

Then we came home and had cake. But not just any cake. My sister Annie is a cake wizard, and she made this blueberry cobbler cake that was to die for.

After cake, my aunt Nan and her husband Joel came to visit as well. They are such great friends, and we love them so much. Unfortunately, Betty missed most of their visit because she was so exhausted from the day that she just fell asleep right on the floor in the living room :)

Lights at Riverwoods

La Gran Aventura Day 3: Orem and Provo

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

This morning Betty and I woke up and went for a run. It’s something we’ve done for quite a while now. Actually, we alternate between walking and jogging. When we started, it was a huge challenge for Betty, but now she’s much stronger. It’s one of the best things that we do for our mental, spiritual, and marital health. Some days we spend the 45 min to and hour chatting. Some days it’s quiet because we are peaceful. Some days it’s quiet because we are frustrated. But nearly every day except Sundays we are out there together.

After our run, the first order of business was to take the car up to the mechanic to get checked out. We had our fingers crossed that the problems would not be as serious as we had been told, and that we could get our Sequoia fixed up and back on the road.

It’s been a good change of pace for the kids to be at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I’m not sure what it is, but in our home, the kids have a hard time getting outside to play. Here, they seem more relaxed. Within just a couple of hours of waking up, Kimball and Ian were outside playing baseball. Alicia has enjoyed shooting hoops. River and Alicia spent some time playing dress-ups. I know that school is important, but it’s always good to see kids just be kids.

One fun thing is that River got to visit a dance class taught by my sister Annie at the studio owned by my sister Marybeth. She had so much fun just moving around with the other students. It was fun to see how happy she was dancing.

In the afternoon, we went to visit my Grandma Neubert -- my mother’s mother. She’s an amazing woman. 92 years old and still doing great. Her husband, my Grandpa Buddy, died when my mom was in high school. Grandma was left to raise 7 kids on her own. She and I have been great friends all my life. When I was in high school I would drive to her house, and just pop in. She would make me some toast or some eggs, and we would chat. Now that we are so far away from each other, I try to call her each week -- but it’s tough to get her on the phone.

She has had quite a bit of challenge with her physical health. She has been legally blind for many years, and she’s got terrible nerve pain in her legs. I know that she misses Grandpa, but when I asked her if she was going to make it to 100 she winked at me and said “Of course.”

Today she was in a mood to share things with us. Her mind is still super sharp, and she loves to memorize things. She quoted for us Isaiah 42:16:

And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.

After that it was the first stanzas of “A Diamond in the Rough” by Bradley Ray Wardle :

A diamond in the rough,

is a diamond sure enough:

And before it ever sparkles,

it is made of diamond stuff;

But someone has to find it,

or it never will be found:

And someone has to grind it,

or it never will be ground;

In the hands of the master,

it is cut and burnished bright:

Then that diamond's everlasting,

shinning out its purest light;

Finally it was “I met God” by Ralph Cushman

I met God in the morning,

when my day was at its best.

And His Presence came like glory,

a sunrise in my breast.

[...]

So I think I know the secret,

learned from many a troubled way…

You must seek God in the morning,

if you want Him in the day

After Grandma shared the poems with us, we decided to do a seminary lesson right there with her. We talked more about Revelation. This time we talked about the promises of the Lord to those who overcome. It was awesome to be there with Grandma and the kids. She has struggled through so much in her life, and her testimony of perseverance and trust in the Lord was just awesome. When I asked her if she was going to make it to 100, she just winked at me and said “Yes.”

After we left Grandma’s house, we raced home and hopped in the car with my dad and my brother-in-law Zack (Annie’s husband), and we headed down to Provo for the BYU basketball game. The kids were so excited. We follow the Cougars closely, and we’ve stayed up super late on many occasions watching the football and basketball team play. Whoever is in charge of producing those basketball games is doing an amazing job. It’s definitely an experience to go there. From the starting lineups to the Cougarettes to Cosmo it’s so fun -- and that’s not even counting the team, which is dynamite this year.

Kimball got a little overwhelmed by all of the sensory input, but he stuck it out, and in the end he really enjoyed it all. When I asked if he could imagine himself in the ROC (student section) some day he just shook his head “No.” But once we emerged from the Marriott Center, and he had time to decompress, he was so happy to have gone.

It was another great day. I’m looking forward to finding out tomorrow what is going on with the Sequoia.

La Gran Aventura Day 2: Grand Island, NE to Orem, UT

Tuesday December 12, 2023

After a pretty good sleep in Grand Island, we were up early and on the road at a pretty good time. Ian and Kimball had slept on their new backpacking mattresses on the ground, and they both did well -- although Ian’s asthma continues to be a problem for him.

The drive from Grand Island into Wyoming went really smoothly. The kids and Betty slept most of the way, and we just churned out a lot of miles. The kids each have a phone that has a few movies downloaded onto it. So there are times on the road that we tell them it’s movie time, and they can watch what they want. But after a couple of hours, we have them turn off the phones so that we can chat.

One funny conversation we had during this part of the drive was about family nicknames for the trip. Kimball is easy -- he’s called Mapas because he loves following along on his phone and letting me know the directions. Anahi is The Invisible Woman because she sits in the very back, puts in her headphones, and kind of disappears. Ian is Wheezy and Alicia is La Torre de Control (The Control Tower) for reasons that will be obvious to anyone who spends time with us. Betty is Aceititos (the oily one) because she’s always rubbing these essential oils on her head to help with headaches in the car. The kids also call her Crunchy (like granola) because she is generally into health and wellness and drinking green juices and such. And River is The Super Sniffer because she always tells us when it’s stinky in the car. I’m El Pacificador because I spend a lot of time stepping in when people start bickering.

As we moved into Wyoming, the sky became overcast with these pillowy clouds that made us feel like we were driving under a quilt. But as we drew closer to Cheyenne, we climbed higher and higher, and the clouds got lower and lower, and they lost their definition. At a gas station several miles before Cheyenne, a cop told us to be careful because there was a big patch of freezing fog between us and Laramie. We thanked him for the warning, and headed on our way.

The next hour or so were truly harrowing.

The fog started just after we left that gas station. It quickly became so thick that we could hardly see 20 or 30 feet in front of us. It formed droplets on the windshield, like rain, but it was filthy because of all the trucks. When I tried to clean the windshield with the wipers, the wiper fluid froze instantly, and I couldn’t see a thing. I cranked up the heat on the defroster, and after a terrifying minute the ice melted and cleared. I was so grateful to be driving in the big Sequoia with four wheel drive. I told the kids to put on their movies, and then Betty and I worked together, peering into the fog to try to see what was coming up. It was intense.

It was such a relief to drop out of the mountains and into Laramie, where we were greeted with incredible views of the surrounding mountains.

By then it was lunch time, so we stopped at Walmart to get some crackers and cheese and salami and fruit. If you have never been to the Walmart in Laramie, let me tell you it is truly something else. The kids couldn’t stop telling me how amazing it was, and I was kind of in awe as well. It’s huge and bright and just feels ... fancy. Whoever is in charge there is doing a bang-up job.

We had to make a quick potty stop at a rest stop just outside Laramie. It used to drive me crazy when we would have to stop for the loo just after a long stop for food, but I’ve come to just expect it. It’s just part of the deal. This time I took advantage of the time to snap a few pictures. I’m so glad I did because this raven was working the camera, and this mountain was begging to be photographed.

After that we swapped drivers, and I taught a seminary lesson to the kids. In our church, the high schoolers attend a class called seminary in which they study scriptures. Inside of Utah, seminary happens during the school day, and the students are released from school to attend. Outside of Utah, seminary happens at 6am every school day. In order to make sure that they are all able to graduate from seminary at the end of their four years of high school, Betty and I were called as seminary teachers for our kids. So as Betty drove, we all had a great discussion about the Book of Revelation. The lesson for today was from Revelation 2-3, and it dealt with the idea that God “knows [our] works,” the good and the bad. We all know that He watches us, but too often we can come to feel like we are always disappointing Him. But in Revelation 2:19, He says “I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works.” I think it’s good to know that he appreciates the good things that we do.

Now for a word about our vehicle situation. We currently drive a 2006 Toyota Sequoia. It’s the second in a row that we’ve had. Our first was totaled when Ian and I were hit while driving on the freeway and we rolled. We were so thankful for how well we were protected during that accident that we decided to get another one.

Well, this Sequoia now has 290,000 miles (we actually crossed that milestone today!), and it’s starting to show some of its age. A few days before we left on the trip, I took it in for an inspection, and they told me that it needed a new rack and pinion and cv joints. They strongly recommended that we not take it across the country without getting those things fixed. We didn’t love the idea of pouring a bunch more money into a vehicle that we were going to need to replace soon anyway, so after a panicky day of trying to find a new vehicle in Hillsdale, we decided to say a prayer and hope that we would make it to Utah.

So on the road in Wyoming, I called our good friend Moroni (he used to own a dealership in Pleasant Grove), and he recommended we take the Sequoia to LKC Automotive and Towing (also in PG). I called them and spoke with Lewis, who after hearing my story about the Sequoia said he would take a look at it, but that he was pretty sure we would be driving away from Utah in a new vehicle.

It wasn’t the news we were hoping for, but we set an appointment for the car to be checked out tomorrow.

Unfortunately, it was dark by the time we reached Utah. I was sad not to see the mountains, but so happy to be back. It’s been over two years since we’ve been out here. I love Michigan, but there is just something great about being home.

It was such a joy to pull in front of the house and give Mom and Dad a giant hug. My sister Annie was there to greet us as well. There is nothing quite like the embrace of family after so much time apart.

As we tucked everyone into bed, the kids started up with the most common question on this trip: What are we going to do tomorrow?

Hours on the road: 13

Miles traveled: 815

Total miles on the trip: 1,600

La Gran Aventura Day 1: Jonesville, MI to Grand Island, NE

Monday December 11, 2023

Last night we were up late getting things ready for the trip. We had planned on leaving around 5am, but we all just slept in a bit. We ended up leaving closer to 8am, and the kids were pretty upset about it. I was pretty upset about it. I was also super frustrated because Betty had packed way more than I had anticipated. She had some gifts for her family and her own juicer, and a couple of extra bags with hair and makeup stuff. I thought we had decided to just pack light so we could see how our equipment would work out, and we could start living the simple life sooner. Betty was thinking that if we had the room, it would be way better to be a bit more comfortable for the road-trip portion of our trip. I was just super frustrated as I saw the car get more and more full, and then I had to put the carrier on the top as well.

So we got on the road, and things went well for the first hour or so. As we approached South Bend, Indiana I decided to pull off so that we could see the University of Notre Dame. It’s been something I’ve wanted to do ever since I saw the movie Rudy (the first movie that ever made me cry). So we pulled off the freeway and drove around town and took a few pictures.

Then we stopped at a gas station for a quick pit stop. I filled up the tank, and Betty and River went in for a potty break. Then they came out, and we pulled away. While we were pulling away I looked out my sideview mirror just in time to see the hose, which I had not placed back in its place, go flying out of my tank. I hopped out of the car, looked around to see if any damage was done to car or pump (there wasn’t), made sure nobody had seen (they hadn’t), and we carried on our way.

Despite the gas tank faux pas, Notre Dame had me feeling in a better mood, so I decided to reach out to Betty and see if she would forgive me for being a knucklehead while I was packing in the morning. I apologized for being a knucklehead, and she forgave me. When we got married, the man who performed the marriage told us that the most important words in our marriage would be gracias (thank you) te amo (I love you), and lo siento (I’m sorry). I’m grateful for that counsel. It has served us well, and I’m sure will continue to do so.

We stopped for lunch at Walmart in Peru, Illinois. We already had some cheese and hamburger buns in the car, so we bought some pepperoni and some sauce to put on them and some mandarins, and we continued on our way. This is pretty typical of the kind of meals we will be eating on this trip. Simple, simple. That sparked a good conversation with the kids about the difference between pilgrimage and tourism. In a book called The Art of Pilgrimage, Phil Cousineau writes about pilgrimage as a way of traveling that focuses much more on the process than the destination. It’s a bit paradoxical, because pilgrimage is certainly a journey towards a sacred destination, but pilgrims (unlike tourists) are never really disappointed by the experience. If a tourist plans a trip to the beach, and it rains, they feel cheated. The pilgrim never feels cheated because they understand that the rain is part of the journey.

That conversation was a perfect introduction to the evening.

As we made our way across the rolling hills of Iowa, the sun set lower and lower on the horizon. Betty was driving during this time, and the sun got brighter and brighter in her eyes as she drove into the sunset. Once the sun dropped below the horizon, however, the blue hour hit, and we found ourselves in the middle of a giant windmill farm. The windmills blades were perfectly silhouetted. It was just awesome.

Just ahead of Omaha, the kids spotted our favorite rest stop in Iowa. They are all amazing, but this one is special because it has a giant windmill blade standing on end. This night it was especially cool because of these lighted cubes that were there on the sidewalk. The kids loved them, and we stopped just for fun.

In Omaha we stopped and used a gift card that a friend had generously given us before we left, and we splurged on tacos at Taco Bell. Then we hopped back in the car and drove the rest of the way to Grand Island, Nebraska. It’s almost exactly halfway between Jonesville and Orem. We just got one room. Kimball and Ian slept on the floor.

15 hours in the car. 800 miles driven.

Introduction to the Gran Aventura

Our family in May of 2023

Our family in May of 2022 (we definitely need a new one!)

This is the blog for our grand family adventure. I can’t promise to update it every day, but I’ll do my best to keep people posted on where we are, what we’ve been up to, and some our thoughts along the way. I thought today I’d give some background on this trip.

About a year ago, I started thinking seriously about what I would do for my upcoming sabbatical. It’s one of the great blessings of my profession, and I really wanted to take advantage of the time to recharge my batteries, spend some time with my family, and produce something worthwhile. At some point along the way, I started considering the Camino de Santiago (Way of Saint James) as an option.

I’ll be writing lots about the Camino, but for today I’ll just oversimplify by saying that it’s an ancient pilgrimage that starts at various places throughout Europe and ends at the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela on the Northwest coast of Spain. The most famous traditional route is called the Camino Francés (French Way). The main route begins in the little town of Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port just on the French side of the Spain/France border — not far from Pamplona, and follows about 500 miles of trail to Santiago. It’s something that I’ve known about for a long time, and something I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve never had the chance.

As I was saying, sometime about a year ago, I decided that it would be an amazing sabbatical project to hike the Camino with my family. Again, I’ll have much more to say about that later on, but you should just know that it’s important to me that we do this together.

It wasn’t until about February or March of this year that I finally got the courage to bring this up to Betty (another story for another day), but the important thing is that I did get the courage to propose, and miraculously, she said yes!

We also wanted to take advantage of the time off of work to travel out west to visit our family in Utah, Arizona, and Mexico. It’s been years since we’ve been out here. So we decided to just make it one grand adventure. Six months, a giant road trip followed by some time traveling around Europe (France, Italy, Spain, Germany?) and culminating in hiking the Camino from April to June.

I’m pretty sure anyone reading this will already know our family, but in case you didn't, I’d just point out that when I say the whole family I mean, me, Betty (my wife), and our five kids. Kimball (17), Anahi (15), Alicia (14), Ian (11), and River (3).

We have a few different goals on this trip:

  1. We want to come together as a family and help the kids overcome some of the challenges they are facing.

  2. We want to learn what it means to be a pilgrim, and we want to travel like pilgrims. That means slowing down, paying attention to the beauty around us, seeking out sacred things, connecting with the people around us, and trusting that God will show us the way. This is NOT a vacation, but rather sacred travel. We believe there is a difference, and we want to learn what it is.

  3. Along with that, I’ll be prepping a book about our experiences (this blog will help me keep notes on what’s going on. In particular, I’m interested in why an LDS family would be interested in doing this ancient Catholic pilgrimage.

  4. Finally, it’s a photography project. I love how when I’m shooting, it makes me slow down and pay attention to the world around me, and I want to have beautiful pictures to remind me of this once-in-a-lifetime experience. I’m hoping to maybe even have a show at the college when we get back.

So that’s a brief summary of what we are up to. I’d like to write most days, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to. Please let us know if you have any questions or comments about the trip, as it will help guide the blog.

La Gran Aventura: Preparation

I thought I would take just one more entry here to write about some of our preparations for this journey.

Before that, I need to correct something I said yesterday. I went back and checked in my journal, and the first day that I mentioned the Camino was actually September 2, 2022. On that day I simply wrote that Betty and I “are thinking about doing the Camino de Santiago for my sabbatical in 2024. I think it could be possible. And if we do it, it will be incredible. Betty is on board.” For the sake of posterity, I think I should clarify what that conversation was like.

Betty on the night before we left home

I remember feeling really anxious about asking Betty if she wanted to do this, because she had been struggling with her physical and mental health for a while. Early in September, however, I realized that I had to talk to her or I would run out of time to put together a proposal for sabbatical leave. So in the morning, on a run, I asked her what she thought about the idea. I fully expected her to say “no way.” But she didn’t. Instead she told me that the night before she had been studying in an online class on positive psychology, and the entire lesson had been on the Camino and how it is an activity perfectly designed to support human happiness. It’s spiritual, it gets people into nature, it connects people, it involves physical activity. So she said, “let’s do it.”

Since then, not a day has gone by in which I haven’t thought about this trip.

The kids have been excited since day one as well. Over the past year we have done some hiking together as a family, and we have learned that the kids (including River) are all good hikers. They are all good-natured and happy to just get out on the trail.

Of course, when we talk about this trip, people always raise their eyebrows when we talk about River’s age. At 4 years old, it’s going to be a big challenge for her. On that regard, I have a few thoughts.

Let’s hope this good energy can continue for River

While the journey is long, the individual stages can be as short as we need them to be. I think we will start with 6-8 mile stages. Maybe we will continue that pace the entire way, but for sure at the beginning we will have to take things easy. Even at a really slow pace, that’s a reasonable pace for each day. If we get stronger as we go along, we may add a bit to that daily mileage, but I’m not really counting on that. I know that alone, I could hike the Camino much faster. If I were only with Betty, or just with my older kids, we could do it faster. But the Camino is a metaphor for life, and I want to make the journey as a family. So that’s what we are going to do.

Of course, if it’s just too difficult, Betty and River can move ahead and we can catch up to them. We have also considered getting one of those tough off-road wagons for kids. If any of you have used one or have any thoughts on them, please let us know. If we could throw her in there, it might help a lot.

A few other preliminary things (all of these pictures are from the night before we left home):

Betty’s health has really improved over the past several months. She has been really dialed in with her nutrition, and she and I go on a little walk-and-jog every morning. Her mental health has also been doing really well, and she’s feeling better today than she has in a very long time. I’m so grateful.

We have checked the kids out of school for the rest of this school year. Mrs. Vogt and the entire staff at Will Carleton Academy have been amazing in helping us to make this happen. It wouldn’t be possible without that support.

The past month or so have been especially exciting as we’ve received many packages from Amazon and made many, many trips to REI to get everyone geared up. The packing lists are short, but the gear is pretty specific so that we can keep things light. For the Europe/Camino part of the trip, River has a tiny little bag that she can carry just a bit in, Ian, Anahi, and Alicia all have 25 liter bags, Kimball has a 38L, Betty 48, and mine is 58. One pair of pants, one pair of shorts, one long-sleeved t-shirt and one short-sleeve. Some warm clothes for the cold days, a sleeping bag and pad, some basic toiletries, and that’s about it. Of course for the road trip, we can afford to bring a bit more, but not much.

The final week before we left was filled with cleaning the house and the kids finishing up school. It was intense, but we got it all taken care of. Sunday was amazing as we said goodbye to our dear friends from church. I’m currently the bishop of our ward, and I’ll continue to serve while away. I’m so grateful for my counselors and secretaries, and for the ward council who work so well together and have made it possible for us to do this as well.

Sunday night we packed up our bags. At some point during the afternoon, just before a final dinner with some dear friends, we went outside and I told the kids that it’s tradition for pilgrims to carry a small rock with them on the Camino. It represents a burden they carry or a trial that they face — a blessing that they hope God will grant them on the Camino. They will carry that rock with them almost the entire journey, and then just before Santiago they will drop that rock at the foot of an ancient cross called Cruz de Ferro (the Iron Cross). The idea may seem a bit strange to some members of our church, but I look at it a bit like fasting for a purpose. That rock is a reminder that this is not just a vacation or a great hike, but a way to connect more directly with the powers of heaven. On the difficult days the rock will remind us that it’s supposed to be difficult, and that challenge will force us to rely even more on the Savior. It will help focus our faith.